Thanks for the Memories, 2021

So there it is. 2021. It has been a year! With the death of Prince Phillip, the introduction of a new variant of the Corona virus, the 2020 Olympics, and the "Golden Girl" herself passing on the last day of the year, 2021 was an eventful year. There are people who have disliked this year, but this year was all about learning, and conversely, unlearning for me. I can gladly say I’ve learned a lot about life and myself. I would like to share some of those things with you. Maybe we can both take these lessons with us into 2022.

• You don’t have to please everyone.

  1. I grew up with constant reminders to impress people. Constant. It weighs you down. To constantly care what others think, to constantly try to impress people and make them like you. It also hurts your self-esteem when they don’t. A YouTuber by the name Breeny Lee, taught me some things in her video of "how to: Stop Being a People Pleaser". I wrote these down on a sticky note and I try to follow these notes each day. Here are the notes I took on it:

     1. Do not be concerned with being liked, be concerned with being respected.

     2. Learn to say no. Saying no is not rude. Sometimes you don’t even have to justify for it.

     3. Buy yourself some time before you respond.

     4. Have some written down goals. Plan out things you actually like to do.

     5. If you’re constantly supporting people, what do you have for yourself? What goals do you have for you? You don't want to look back in 3-4 years and realize you have nothing to show for your life because you were so busy focusing and working in someone else's life.

     6. Reevaluate what being nice means to you. Nice does not equal pushover.

• Detachment.

  1. I hold on. And I stay in situations and relationships with people because of the fear letting them go. It hurts. It’s tough, and it wears me down. Thankfully, in 2021 I learned how to let go, finally. It’s still an ongoing process. It’s not something that will change overnight, but it has made me stronger. This lesson also correlates with my next lesson.

"You don't want to look back in 3-4 years and realize you have nothing to show for your life because you were so busy focusing and working in someone else's life."

• Confidence/Assertiveness

  1. Confidence is the biggest lesson I have learned this year. I have learned to speak up for myself. Normally a quiet and shy person who just let people do whatever they want, I am now more vocal of the things I want. I don’t tolerate BS from others anymore. It’s taken almost 22 years, but I finally know my worth and what I want in my life. I’ve allowed people to walk all over me for far too long. I am strong, skillful, wise and absolutely beautiful. I can also thank my partner for teaching me how to be more open and assertive.

• Yes, make new friends!

  1. I don’t know why I am so content with the friends i have now, yet every other month i complain about not having any friends. I was hurt this year when I lost someone very close to me, but ironically I met someone else who taught me what friendship is. Plus, I also learned to cling on to those who love and support me now. We all need someone. We are too old to be dropping people for stupid reasons when we know that those people keep us going. Plus, the friends I have, and have made, are the only ones keeping me and my mental health going.

• Setbacks don’t define me.

  1. Whoo this is a big one! I have completed so many goals. Yet, when I go on social media, I am reminded that there are people my age who are seem to be moving ahead of me or are living their dream lives. I had to learn that not everything shown on social media is true. There are often fabrications in these posts to give the illusion of perfection. I also had to reflect on the fact that most of the things I have now or have accomplished were once goals and prayers I had. That’s really what keeps me going.

• Lastly, put God first in everything.

  1. No explanation needed. God has carried me throughout this year and I would be absolutely nothing without Him.
     

So that’s all folks! The six greatest lessons that I’ve learned in 2021. These lessons have helped shape who I am, and helped me grow as a person in 2021. Understand that this growth will not make everyone happy and people will say that you have “changed”, but why would you want to be the same person forever?

2021 was fun. Let’s create more memories and learn new things in 2022.

Love you all,

Kay